I recently wrote a post for another blog called Ech and Will about military deployments. I actually loved writing this because I got to share my military wife experience with other wives. You can read about it here. I stated in the post that if any wives wanted to ask me questions, I would answer them on my blog. One main thing I would do was keep their name a secret so no one would know it was them. I opened up my email today and it was flooded with deployment questions. So tonight I am going to answer the first one exclusively right here. So here goes nothing.
“Dear Dontaye, I absolutely loved your advice about military deployments. The love of my life, actually my whole reason for being the person that I am today is gone to a war zone and I feel like I could just die. What makes it worse is that I see military wives sitting around spending all their husbands hard earned money and sleeping with other military men like they could careless. What and how do you deal with these type of situations?”
Well, Jane Doe, obviously because I can’t say who you are…….this is an awesome question and in a way very hard to answer but I am going to try my best to give you the best answer. I have been a military wife for over 10 years now and that has been with my ex-husband and my husband now. I have been to four different duty stations as well. One thing I always come across are wives who have no emotion or sympothy for the things they do while their husbands are gone. I have to say that yes I personally know military wives who I feel should be doing better or that I know personally who have cheated on their husbands while deployed.
Okay, lets sum it up like this. Military wives have a reputation. Some of the everyday things that are said are some similar to these:
-All military wives do is sit at home and make babies.
-Military wives are just after benefits and money.
-Military wives…..most of them use to be barracks bunnies.
-NO…military wives work or get an education.
and the list could go on for days. The point I’m trying to make to you is that, I let it go. Their life is their life and GOD has a plan for everyone. If I know a spouse has cheated on the deployed spouse or vice versa, that information is confidential in my mind. I don’t start drama and neither will they ever know unless they hear it from someone else. As a military spouse, those of us who have pride in the name or those of us who are there to comfort, support, and stand by our spouses must know that we have to uphold the name and show people their stereotypes are wrong but for the wives that you have problems with you must realize that every stereotype has a group or certain person who will live up to it instead of helping us change the view of what others think of us. One thing I must make clear is that every person’s household is different and whatever they see fit for it is what they have to do or how they decided to live their life.
I hope this answered your question. I’m sorry I went a little off subject but I wanted to prove a point. Thank you so much for sending in your question. Please let me know if this helped.
Stay tuned tomorrow for our next question and answer post!!